14 Guiding Principles for Those Affected By Alcoholics
I admit that the alcoholic in my life is powerless over alcohol and that their behavior is destroying my emotional, physical and/or financial welfare.
I understand that a relationship with a practicing alcoholic is inherently toxic and unhealthy. While I can adjust and learn how to cope with their alcoholic behavior, I can never truly heal while in their presence.
I stand resolute in my commitment to protecting my self-worth and physical and emotional well being. I reject the lies, insults, blame, gaslighting, false promises and other often degrading behavior that the alcoholic in my life uses to manipulate and control me.
I will not tolerate physical abuse in any form, including threats, towards me or my loved ones.
I accept that alcohol and those who enable their drinking are more important to the alcoholic in my life than me, regardless of who I am, even if I am their partner, parent, child, friend or other loved one.
I understand that children in the care of an alcoholic will be emotionally and/or physically damaged for life. I resolve to protect them from current and future harm.
I accept that just like the alcoholic in my life is addicted to alcohol, I am addicted to them.
I acknowledge my role as enabler, examine the ways in which I enable and work to cease my enabling.
I allow the alcoholic in my life to experience the full consequences of their drinking so that they may reach their bottom and hope to achieve lasting sobriety.
I humbly admit that I cannot control the alcoholic in my life’s behavior nor can I cure their disease. All I can do is support them if they choose sobriety.
I protect both myself and the alcoholic in my life by establishing and enforcing meaningful boundaries against those actions I find unacceptable.
I seek out support and fellowship from fellow survivors of alcoholic relationships to help me address, understand and guide me through the trauma that I have suffered.
I support others who suffer from the effects of alcoholism by offering validation, empathy, encouragement and, when appropriate, sharing of knowledge.
Though I may lack control over the causes of my circumstances, I commit myself to taking action towards positive change. Only through my actions will I regain my emotional, physical and financial health and thrive spiritually as is my fundamental human right.
John Raymond Mireles
www.johnmireles.com
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